I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
