At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
