Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Say something about gay babies.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
