champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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