1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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