He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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