DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
