Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
