I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
