it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
