I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
420 ftw
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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