Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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