bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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