I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm passing your future prison.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
