Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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