We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
