I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize