Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
