woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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