By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
