Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
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I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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