oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
