We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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