you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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