I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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