fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
