let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
