I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I need to stop coming to work sober
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize