Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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