his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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