Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I cannot find my penis.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Randomize
