Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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