Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
