It's just like the Real World with babies
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize