Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
