Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
