Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
