guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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