You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize