I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
