Tell her she can't have a vagina
the condom got lost in my hair
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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