Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
