: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
