And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So vagazzling was a success
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