Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
