So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
