At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
