It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
