I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
