i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
