So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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