i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
