a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
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Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
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Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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