you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
