at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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