I hate your face
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
