I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
