you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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