I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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