: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
