Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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