She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
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kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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