i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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